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God And Moses

God and Moses are playing golf. Moses hits a decent first drive. God tops the ball badly, and it rolls just a few feet. But, it’s immediately picked up by a squirrel, who runs towards the hole. The squirrel, and ball, are seized by an eagle, who flies into the air. The eagle is struck by a bolt of lightning, dropping everything. The squirrel falls onto the green, and runs away. The ball plops into the hole. Moses turns to God and says, “Are you gonna play golf, or just screw around?”

The Four Signs Of Growing Old

1) Your memory starts to go

2) Some thing else I forget

3) You start to repeat yourself

4) You start to repeat yourself

Save the whales.  Collect the whole set.

I don’t want to be a success.  I want to be just like you.

A man never knows what true happiness is until he gets married . . . then it’s too late.

A tree in need of assurance is a quaking aspen.

Trees:   A tree in need of comfort is a weeping willow.

Is it true that humming birds hum because they don’t know the words?

I’ve often said….Mornings would be great if they didn’t start so darn early.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

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